In a Nutshell

Operation Bobbi Bear

2009-12-06T22:43:00.003-05:00

"When she was eight, Lindiwe complained to her teacher about regular and severe stomach pains, and a ’sore heart’. On further questioning, she revealed to her teacher that her step-father was raping her. The teacher told Lindiwe’s mother, who beat Lindiwe when she got home, and accused her of lying.
In desperation, the teacher shared the story with the school principal, who called Operation Bobbi Bear. A Safety Officer met Lindiwe at school, and using Bobbi Bear, asked her to explain what had happened to her. Lindiwe drew on Bobbi Bear, and revealed that her step-father had been molesting her for many years, and in the last few months had begun raping her, and also molesting her younger sister. The Principal called in Lindiwe’s mother, who was horrified at what Bobbi Bear revealed, and truly repentant for not believing her little girl. Lindiwe and her mother laid charges against the stepfather, and sent Bobbi Bear in. Within 48 hours the police had picked up the stepfather who appeared in court.

Lindiwe, her mother, a friend and a teacher appeared at the court room, all carrying red Bobbi Bears. Two years on from this court case, the perpetrator was still behind bars, whilst Lindiwe and her sister had received care and counselling - (including pre-forensic examination and pre-trial counselling.) Says Lindiwe “Bobbi Bear made my mother believe me.”

http://www.bobbibear.org.za

another one bites the dust.

2009-11-13T19:43:00.002-05:00

Another end to the year with a little bit more success then the past ones. I have a lovely job that treats me as well as I treat it and that's dandy. Moved on my own and it's been great having the freedom and all that. What am I missing now? Not entirely sure. I don't think I need to have someone in my life to feel complete, it's just a little different being on my own now. I like the fact that I can come home and not have to worry about anything but myself. I like buying flowers for my place and making myself dinner. I miss my cat. I love coming home from work and sharing a glass of wine with myself and watching a movie.

It's all too different though. I keep on thinking how it used to be with my family and living with people and I think I actually do want someone in my life. Not desperate, just going to be a little more aware of that fact and see how the wind blows...

Leaving and not coming back.

2009-08-22T22:45:00.003-04:00

This post is dedicated to my will power and strength I have recently received. It's not everyday this comes about, so I am utilizing it as much as I can.

Firstly, I have quit smoking. I am sick of it controlling me. I am sick of me feeling like I have 'given in' to something so disgusting that makes me feel better. I am better than that, and this is the time of my life that I finally am realizing who I am. It has been a long time coming, as they say.

Secondly, I have left my old self behind once and for all. I am now a much more confident, strong and determined woman.

time stands still.

2009-01-02T13:48:00.006-05:00

It was only a matter of time. Time when I would wake up and realize that the greater amount of my life was being wasted on the nonsense that I call and believe.

How on earth did I fucking not see the light before. When did I choose to dive into the madness that has become an on-going struggle for not only myself, but my other half as well.

It's crazy to think that after all this wasted time of my faults brought upon my wonderful boyfriend, he still has the strength not to give up on me. Sadly, if you only knew the whole story of what I have put us through, you would see that statement in the fullness that it is.

New Years Eve 2008 was the ending of the beginning. To begin the year with more will-power, strength, self-confidence, love and passion in my life. I no longer want to feel trapped within myself. This means letting go of my anxiety and taking things as they come to me with maturity and respect.

I know deep inside I am a wonderful person, but it undeniably just needs to come out on a more regular basis. So this is my 'new years resolution' in a nutshell..to no longer feel trapped within myself and suck those who truly love me inside the hurricane of stress and containment I have created.

My Views on Fate & Destiny

2008-02-04T23:28:00.000-05:00

So everything happens for a reason they say. I say whatever happens you make happen. Perhaps it's becuase I do not have a faith that I follow, or maybe it's just that I feel that the control you have overpowers anything and everything that happens in your life. Either way, I feel that the belief in yourself and what you want in life shows the world that you can do anything, no matter the circumstances. I'm sure 'The Secret' can back me up on this.

Let me follow my thoughts with an example, shall I? Well for the past three years I have been stuck in a rut (and when I say rut, I mean not being able to think for myself, losing all inner faith of my core strength, etc.). I will not blame it entirely on the person I was with, but more on myself for not seeing past the struggle I put myself in.

If I *did* believe that it was my 'fate' to have been brought into this predicament then...hmmm...I am contradicting myself now. Ok right so I don't believe in fate, that's it. Yeah.

Ok maybe, just maybe that could be some sort of fate for me to have been through the worst of times so that I may soon discover what good I have to offer myself and the world. It's really hard to say. However, it's not like I am on any straight path now. I am truly crumbled by all of this, and to be honest I feel rather paralyzed.

I know *one day* this will all change. I will wake up and realize that sitting around won't get me anywhere but, well, sitting. So now is the time.

The time to stand up and make my own destiny. What do I want in life? What are my desires and aspirations? My hopes and dreams?

Not as easy as relying on 'fate', but It sure as hell beats waiting around to win the lottery, don't you think?